Rand's Madness
by shldflght
Summary: What if Rand had never cleansed sadin? What if this caused him to expirence madness on a greater level then he ever imagined? What would happen? How would he deal with it? How would others deal with it? Well, let's find out. Please Review!
1. Chapter 1:Illusions

The Wheel of Time: Rand's Madness

**Chapter 1: Illusions**

The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and go, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth return again. In the Third Age, an Age of Prophecy, when the World and Time themselves hang in the balance, a cold wind rose in the vast emptiness of the Blight. . .

…and Rand al' Thor grew still. He had been looking over his kingdom in Illian. When it washed over him like icy water. His_ kingdom_! Light! How long had he wishedhe could be only a simple farmer. But no, he was the bloody Dragon Reborn! Oh Light!

"_It could be worse,"_ said a voice in his head he knew all too well. _"You could be trapped inside the head of a madman!"_ and with that he fled to the dark corners of Rand's brain, laughing maniacally.

Rand turned away from the sight of Illian. He wanted no part of it, of any of it, and that vision was but a cold reminder of what he did not want! Who would?

"_A madman?" _cackled Lews Therin. Rand smiled, yes a madman. Was that what was becoming of him? Yes, probably. Sometimes he thought of what would have happened if he had succeeded in purifying _sadin _with the Choden Kal. Rand shuddered, remembering that awful moment, if Nynave hadn't stopped when she did. Oh Light, the consequences.

He was now walking through the halls of the palace. His footsteps rang heavily on the tile. Many Lords and Ladies saw him coming and immediately dropped to their feet murmuring things like, "Praise you Lord Dragon!" and "Light see your presence, Lord Dragon!"

Those fools, they were like sheep, always following whatever fool came into power. Unfortunately, that fool was him.

He turned the corner and saw…nothing, just darkness, darkness that seemed to stretch on endlessly. Rand frowned and took hold of _sadin _ready for the Forsaken, Greymen, Shadowspawn, even the Dark One himself, but during that moment when he seized sadin, the dizziness and nausea assaulted him. He stumbled, and fell into the darkness.

"Rand? Rand! Rand you wool headed farm boy, what're you doing!"

Rand awoke startled. He looked around, he was still in the hall, and there was Min, looking up at him with deep concern on her face.

"Are alright?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, of course," he lied, "never been better in my life."

She slapped him across the face. "Don't lie to me, Rand Al' Thor," she scolded. "Even without the bond I can tell." She shook her finger under his nose. "Really, Rand, when will you learn that you can tell me anything."

"I was just spacing out for a little bit," he said, rubbing his cheek. How could he tell her about what happened. Would she believe him, or just slap again and walk off?

She didn't look like she believed him, but she didn't slap him either. She just stood there quietly, looking at him. Suddenly, her shape seemed to twist and spin. Rand blinked rapidly.

"Rand?" Her voice seemed distant and weak. She turned and walked away.

"No wait, Min!" a faint buzzing sounded in his hear but he ignored it. Suddenly, Min disappeared and a horde of Trollocs came rampaging down the hall. Rand immediately took hold of sadin and channeled Fire and Earth, creating Blossoms of Fire. He wove Earth, Fire, and Air, forcing the floor up to stop the Trollocs. Flames shot from his outturned hands, completely engulfing anything that made it through. The Trollocs then disappeared and Min reappeared holding onto him crying. She was murmuring something, and thanks to his advanced hearing he heard what she said, but he didn't understand it.

"Rand stop, Rand no, please, no. Rand, Rand, Rand."

Rand frowned in confusion. Didn't she want him to kill the Trollocs to protect his kingdom, to protect her? He felt like he should say something.

"_Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad,"_ sang Lews Therin in his head. _'Mad? Am I mad? No! They were there, they died, I saw it! Oh Light, I saw it!' "Did you see it," _cackled Lews Therin, _"Or did you only think it?" 'Why would I think something like that?' _questioned Rand,but Lews Therin was already retreating back into Rand's subconscious, singing of madness.

"Min," Rand whispered softly, "It's okay, they're gone." In reality Rand didn't really think that, he was still holding the One Power, ready in case more were on they're way, but he couldn't let her know that. She had to be calm, but what he heard next shook the edges of the Void. She whispered one single word. One word that changed his life.

"Who?"

She hadn't seen them, he was seeing things. That meant, this could been the beginning of his madness.


	2. Chapter 2:The Ocean of Madness

**Chapter 2: Ocean of Madness**

Rand channeled more Spirit and added in Fire with a touch of Water. Oceans of flames engulfed the Trolloc army. But did it? Were they real Trollocs, or just another twisted image of his madness. Other men were fighting, but are they? Is he? Light! He didn't even know what he was doing. It may have looked like he was fighting Trollocs, but he could very well be destroying a village or an army, or a city! Oh Light! He could almost feel the blades of madness cutting away his mind, reducing him to nothing.

"_So what? You were already mad before, now that you can see it, it makes a difference?" _Lews Therin cackled away into darkness. Rand thought on Lews Therin's words. Could he have been mad before now, and then just now noticed it? No, that couldn't be, you don't develop awareness of madness, you lose it. To think otherwise is…is…_"Mad?"_ offered Lews Therin. Yes, Rand thought dully, mad.

A Fade appeared in front of Rand and swung at him with his sword, but Rand quickly countered and beheaded it with Herrin Flies Over Swamp and then cut it in half with Lion Attacks Antelope. Rand then channeled some Deathgates to dispatch the remainder of the army. The entire battle lasted only a couple of hours.

Suddenly, Rand was standing on an ocean, not _in _an ocean, _on _and ocean. One that was completely black, so black, that Rand couldn't even see one inch into it. Rand looked around, all he could see was the black ocean, he could see for miles, hundreds of miles. The only other things were the dark blue sky and the bright sun. Rand looked at the sun, it was bright, of course, but it didn't hurt his eyes to look at. He could stare directly into it.

He blinked, he had been completely transfixed by the sun, the only bright thing in this dark place, but that wasn't it. No, there was something about the sun, something familiar, calling to him. He reached toward it, and immediately pulled back. The air was oily! He reached into the ocean to wash it off and blinked in shock. He hand wouldn't go into the water!

"_I've been here before," _said Lews Therin calmly. Rand tried to channel Water, to get the ocean to move, but not even a ripple appeared. The flows just sunk into the water. Rand's eyes widened, he had never seen anything like this before. He wove _balefire_, but it sunk just like everything else.

"_Yes,"_ said Lews Therin, _"I've definitely been here before.,"_ he laughed, _I tried the same thing." _"Did you get through?" asked Rand. _"No, at least, not at first." _Then for some reason he laughed wildly. He most certainly was mad.

"_The first time I came here was just like this, the second time the skies were darker, the third time the skies were black and the sun dim, the fourth time the sun was out completely, and the fifth time," _He cackled madly and ran back into the dark corners of Rand's mind. Rand got angry, "Blood and ashes what happened the fifth time, burn you!" But it was no use Lews Therin was long gone.

Then the world rippled, like it were a blanket and some giant had waved it, and Rand was back in Illian. Laying on his back with many people gathered all about him. As he opened his eyes the people, no, soldiers gasped and moved away from him. Rand struggled up and was suddenly hit with a wave up intense nausea. He sat up straight and spewed his dinner on the ground. The soldiers backed away a little more.

Rand stayed seated, not wanting the soldiers to think battle made him sick. He calmed himself, but did not seek the Void, that and _saidin _would only bring more sickness. Soon he felt good enough to stand. The nausea had passed.

Rand felt like stumbling or gasping out with pain, but he suppressed it, not wanting to show anymore weakness to the soldiers. He walked back to the fortress, because his horse had died in battle, like a victorious king. Which, in a way, he was. The men soon forgot all about Rand's vomiting and started to celebrate the victory he led them to.

But Rand didn't feel victorious, that battle had brought him to a strange place. Not the black ocean, but a place within him. He felt strange, suddenly everything looked deadly. A simple painting could be laced with poisonous paint, just waiting for him to touch and die. That servant could be hiding a knife, that corner, what was on the other side, an assassin? Greymen? One the Forsaken maybe?

Rand forced himself to relax, he sought the Void, and _sadin_, and used them to clear his mind completely. He stumbled as a wave of nausea hit him, but he soon mastered it. Light, why did he fell as if he were being watched? _"Mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad," _cackled Lews Therin.

"Shut up!" Rand yelled aloud. A servant jumped two feet in the air and practically ran away, but Lews Therin started singing,

"_shout, cry, beat the air, _

_rage and scream, I don't care. _

_Blame your mother, blame your dad_

_it doesn't matter, because your mad!_

Then he launched into a great mad laugh, as if he'd just told the greatest joke in the world. As this happened Rand's anger grew. He seized _sadin_ and channeled Lews Therin away. Another servant came by looking concerned, but once he got a look at Rand's face, he paled and immediately turned the other way. Suddenly, he turned into a retreating Trolloc. Rand shook his head and ignored it. 'Light, what if someone else turned-, oh Light! Min!'

Rand ran down the halls, pushing past servants and nobles alike. He opened the door fast and burst into the room. It was empty! Then a cold hand rested on his shoulder. He spun around, face to face with a Myradraal! He immediately embraced the Source, but stopped short of shooting _balefire_. There was no way to tell if this was a real Myradraal or not. Then it spoke.

"Rand," its voice was like a snake slithering through dry leaves, "Rand."

"Who are you?" Rand asked.

"What kind of question is that?" it asked. Then it laughed hard, it was the most chilling thing Rand had heard. He took out his sword.

"What are you going to do with that? Foolish boy!" Then it came closer. Rand's thoughts suddenly evaporated to fear. Fear of death, he couldn't let it come any closer, no! NO!

He lunged at the Myradraal, and right at that instant, the world rippled again, and he was back at the black ocean. Lews Therin laughed insanely.

"_The fifth time I came here. I sunk into the ocean! Right into it! Right into the Ocean of Madness!" _Then he laughed long and hard, so hard that Rand's ears rang. He tried to silence the laughter, but couldn't. Not with the realization of what Lews Therin just said.

The Ocean of Madness. That was where he was, and for the second time. Once he came here five times. He would sink into the Ocean, and madness would consume him.

It was his fate, it was the fate of every man who could channel. The Ocean of Madness was his fate!


	3. Chapter 3:Ashes to Ashes, Blood to Blood

**Chapter 3: Ashes to Ashes, Blood to Blood**

Min watched as Rand drew his sword, she watched as he attacked her, she watched as he fell to the floor, and she watched as he ran out of the room. She was through watching, it was time for some answers.

She went to Rand's bedroom, but he wasn't there. She walked to the training grounds, but he wasn't there. None of the servants had seen him, and none of the Lords or Ladies had seen him. He was gone and she didn't know where to.

She swallowed hard. Something could have happened to him, something horrible. No, that couldn't be it. Rand was the Dragon Reborn, he could take care of himself, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to worry. Curse that woolheaded farmer! Blood and bloody ashes did he think her feelings were things he could fool around with.

A servant walked past quickly without saying a word. Fear was etched on his face. Light, had she said that out loud? No, it must have been the look on her face. Now, he had her scaring poor servants out of their wits! She swore she would strangle him next time she saw him.

She finally made it to the thorne room, if he was anywhere it would be here. She opened the door and had just enough time to see Rand incinerate a Lord with a fireball before he opened up a gateway and ran away into it.

Min could swear her jaw was inches away from the floor. She had never seen Rand like that! He was absolutely…scary. His eyes were completely different, mad almost. _Mad? No! He couldn't be, not now!_ She looked over at the ashes on the floor and threw up. _Oh Light! Why?_

For the next couple of days Min sat in her room, in a dazed slump. She barely ate, and would only eat what the servants brought her. Wise women and men came in to see if she was sick, but nothing they tried seemed to be able to find out what it was that ailed her. Eventually, they gave up and stopped visiting her.

After a week, the whole palace seemed to be talking about her. Some said that she was heartbroken because the Dragon Reborn left her. Others said that he poisoned her, but most said that she was in deep despair because the Dragon Reborn had finally gone mad. Whatever the story was, Lords and Ladies belived it and decided to talk to this girl.

Min heard a knock on her door, but made no move to answer it. It was unlocked so he just came in. He was a short man, bald yet with a long gray beard. He wore blue pants, made of silk, and a brillantly colored, yellow and blue shirt. He was, obviously, a Lord.

Min made no motion to recognize that he was even there, she just lay on her bed staring off to into nothingness.

"Mistress Min," he said formerly, "I have been choosen to ask you a couple of questions concerning the Lord Dragon." He thought he saw movement in her bed, but perhaps it was only a trick of the light. "We, that is to say myself and the other Lords and Ladies, have been concerned about his wellbeing. Particularly that of his mind set." There was definitely a movement now, but only just. "We have thought perhaps that," he moved closer to Min, "he may be suffering from," he moved closer still, "the inevitable," he was now standing at her bedside, "madness." He only whispered the word, but it had its effect.

Min bolted up, standing on her bed and glaring at the man. "He is not mad!" she screamed at him, "How dare you! How dare you accuse such a thing!" her voice carried into halls, but she didn't care if the entire palace heard her, "Get out! GET OUT!" She threw everything she could reach at the shocked Lord: pillows, table ornaments, even the bedside table itself! The Lord stumbled out of the room with his hands over his head trying to protect himself. He finally made it and shut the door just as the table crashed into it.

Min sat back down on the bed crying. _He is not mad! He isn't! He can't be! _She cried for hours before she finally ran out of tears. She dried her eyes off. _He can't be mad! It was just a bad dream, yes of course, only a bad dream. I'll go to the throne room and there'll be no ashes or anything out of the ordinary. _Min smiled to herself as she walked out, happy that she had everything figured out.

Rendal, the Lord who had visited Min sat down with the other Lords and Ladies. They were discussing what to do with the Dragon Reborn.

"Well, it's quite obvious she's in denial," said a Lord to the right of Rendal.

"Of course, but how will we take care of the Al' Thor boy?" asked Rendal. "He still is the Dragon Reborn, remember."

"Aes Sedai. That would be the only logical choice."

"Tar Valon is too far away. They would never make it in time."

"We are all forgetting the obvious. A knife in the dark, or poison in the wine will work just fine."

"Won't he suspect?"

"He's mad what will he suspect? He'll be too crazy to think logically."

"What about the girl."

"The same."

"What! We cannot harm an innocent young girl!"

"She will only get in the way, and besides it's much safer this way."

"Don't tell me your scared of a twenty year old girl."

"She does have a lot of knives."

"Then it's decided. She and Al' Thor will die by poison."

"Agreed!"

Min made it to the throne room and opened the door. There were no ashes in sight! She smiled, it had been just a crazy dream. Unless, a servant cleaned it up. Her smile vanished, but she shook her head. _No! Rand is not mad!_

"Who's there?" said a voice. It was coming from the throne. Min looked up and saw… Rand!

"Rand!" she cried, running for the throne.

"Stop!" he said. She did. He blinked several times. "Get away from me."

"What? Rand are you okay?"

"Shut up! Lies, nothing but lies!" he was whispering, but she heard every word.

"Rand, what are you talking about?" she came closer.

"Stop!" She didn't stop.

"Rand, please stop acting this, it's not funny!" she had nearly reached him.

"I said stop!"

She reached him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Rand it's okay, I'm-" she cut off suddenly. She couldn't speak. She was shocked. Sticking out of her chest was a sword, Rand's sword. The sword he had put in her with his own hands. Tears sprang into her eyes. Rand laughed.

"You thought you could trick me! But I knew. Masquerading as one of my wives. I knew you were lying to me, just as Elayne, I mean the Shadowspawn pretending to be Elayne, was, but I showed her, and I showed you. No one tricks Rand Al' Thor!" and with that he pulled the sword out of Min and ran off laughing madly.

Min fell to the floor, tears and blood flowing freely. She lied there listening to the screams echoing from the halls. There was no pain, only sorrow, and it was in this that life faded from her. As the last tear dripped from her nose, she closed her eyes and died.


	4. Chapter 4:The Pattern Breaks

**Chapter 4: The Pattern Breaks**

Rand looked up at the black sky and the dead sun. Then down into the great abyss that was the Ocean of Madness. His fourth visit, once more and he'll be completely mad. For now he just stood on the water that was not really water. At least not any water he knew. This water was completely black and he didn't sink into it, merely stood atop it.

He thought back to what had happened before he had come here. His palace was under attack by shadowspawn which he had bravely killed. There was even a shadowspawn that looked like Min. And before that one that looked like Elayne and the one who looked like Aviendha! Light! Where did these new shadowspawn come from? The Dark One had probably sent them to kill and impersonate his friends so that they could kill him, but he had shown them. Then a dark thought entered his mind, what if Mat and Perrin had been impersonated as well? It made perfect sense. All of his wives had been killed and impersonated what about his friends?

The world around him blurred and he woke up in his bedchambers lying on the floor. He got up and walked out he had to find Mat and Perrin and see if they were impersonated or not.

"_Of course they are already impersonated. The Dark One doesn't wait."_

"There is always a chance! Rand yelled at Lews Therin."

But Lews Therin wasn't listening. He just ran away into Rand's mind singing of madness. 'I'm not mad yet!' thought Rand stubbornly, stepping over the body of a butchered guard.

"What will we do? He's completely mad now!"

"We kill him. That's the obvious answer."

"We had that chance, its gone now! He'll kill us before we even get near him! Half the castle's guards and servants are dead. He murdered his own wife. We'll stand no chance. We should run before its too late—"

"No! I have a plan just leave it to me. All you have to do is sit back and watch."

Rand now stood in the camp of the Band of the Red Hand. His mission was simple kill the impostor Mat and any other shadowspawn he finds.

Rand wove balefire and destroyed the tent closest to him, to ensure no shadowspawn could surprise him. Then he channeled to make his voice project.

"Matrim Cuathon! The Dragon Reborn requests your presence immediately!" Rand said in a manner that would suggest that this was no request.

Men started to pour out of the tents and approach Rand, none of them Mat. Rand prepared to channel Deathgates. Then a soldier stepped forward, obviously the man in charge.

"Lord Mat is away my Lord Dragon."

"Well, where is he?"

'_Dead, just like everyone else who is friend to me.'_

'Mat isn't you're friend! Now leave!'

'_No! This is just as much my mind as it is yours.'_

"Get out!"

"Excuse me?"

Rand looked around and saw that everyone was looking at him funny. One soldier had his hand on his sword. So they were shadowspawn! Rand channeled the Deathgates and killed the soldier touching his sword along with about three dozen others.

"What in the name of-" started the soldier in charge, but he was unable to finish when Rand incinerated him with Blossoms of Fire. In a matter of minutes the entire army was destroyed. The shadowspawn were dead, but Rand still wasn't satisfied. Obviously there was a shadowspawn Mat somewhere, and Rand was going to find him! The colors in Rand's head started to swirl, and he saw Mat, Rand held the colors this time and located Mat's exact location. When the colors stopped and Mat faded, Rand was smiling. Now he knew exactly where Mat was. Rand opened a gateway and was off, to kill his best friend.

Mat starred out into the sky. The _gohlam _he defeated had escaped and was probably hunting him right now! He needed to leave, but how? With the Seanchan guarding every way out. Maybe the river? If he could get a boat he could escape. He had Egeanin, and she knew how to pilot these ships, but he also wanted to save the captured Aes Sedai.

They could be useful to him in the future. Blood and ashes! The dice in his head were going crazy, it almost hurt to have them bouncing in his head like this. And, of course, that meant something bad was about to happen. Something bad always happened to him.

"Mat!"

Mat turned taking out the black spear and holding it up defensively, but it was only Rand, who for some reason had his sword drawn. Mat was about to say hello, but at that moment, the dice stopped.

Mat had tried to attack him, him! That obviously meant he was a shadowspawn. But shadowspawn Mat didn't know Rand knew what he was, it was talking to him, just like the old Mat would.

Rand grip on his sword tightened, and shadow Mat stopped talking. He had noticed. Then the fight was on! Rand struck an arc toward Mat's head, but it was blocked. Suddenly Rand felt a tear within himself, something that hurt him badly. Mat also went down and for that Rand was grateful, at least it wasn't going to get a free shot in. The pain passed and both Rand and Mat stood again ready for the next attack.


End file.
